If there is anything I have learned from my time spent at nightclubs, it’s that you should never attempt to identify any foreign substances stuck to your shoes. Ignorance truly is bliss. Also: there is a subset of club-goers, typically of the male persuasion, who think it is perfectly acceptable to approach a dancing woman from the rear – having never exchanged so much as a word or a glance with her – and grind his genitals into her buttocks region. Yes! It’s true! Eschewing the more traditional “Hello,” these... Read The Rest →
Insiders say the selection of Meyers as “Late Night” host is surprising, given he hasn’t even bombed as a movie star yet.
“Oh, you mean that guy who cheated on me with Rita Wilson? Um, no.” –Tom Hanks’ first wife and mother of his first two children, Samantha Lewes
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie secretly underwent gastric band surgery in February to try to lose weight at the urging of his family, his spokesman told The Associated Press on Tuesday. Pundits say this could be an unwise career move, as the lap-band will make it difficult to digest large amounts of political bullsh*t.
“We will get through this, my children.” — Johnny Depp
–Me, remembering I had ice cream sandwiches in the freezer
What do you think?
“Kim Kardashian — I Don’t Want Kris Humphries Around When I Give Birth,” reports TMZ. So I guess he’ll have to watch it on TV, like the rest of us.