Gov. Chris Christie Secretly Had Weight-Loss Surgery

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New Jersey Governor Chris Christie secretly underwent gastric band surgery in February to try to lose weight at the urging of his family, his spokesman told The Associated Press on Tuesday.

Pundits say this could be an unwise career move, as the lap-band will make it difficult to digest large amounts of political bullsh*t.

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Sending Light and Love to All Those Affected by the Ongoing Reese Witherspoon Saga

johnny-depp-blessing“We will get through this, my children.” — Johnny Depp

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“Oh, my God. YES! YES! YES!”

–Me, remembering I had ice cream sandwiches in the freezer

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So I Commissioned a Portrait from The Artist Who Painted Kate Middleton

What do you think?

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Lindsay Lohan Learns There Really is No Nigerian Prince in Need of Her Assistance

LindsayLohan-pained

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Because She’s Old-Fashioned Like That

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“Kim Kardashian — I Don’t Want Kris Humphries Around When I Give Birth,” reports TMZ.

So I guess he’ll have to watch it on TV, like the rest of us.

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