Mike Huckabee Wants Us to Leave Child Molester Josh Duggar Alone!

Saturday, May 23, 2015 0 , 1

mike-huckabee-josh-duggar

Okay, sure, Josh Duggar admitted that he molested multiple underage girls — including his own sisters — and his parents didn’t go to the authorities until the statute of limitations had out, but presidential hopeful and apparent pedophile advocate Mike Huckabee wants us to leave the poor guy alone!  I mean, gosh, as Huckabee said on Facebook:

“Good people make mistakes.”

Killing five people makes you a serial killer, but molesting five girls?  A “mistake.”

Lest you think Huckabeee is dismissing CHILD MOLESTATION as being on the same level as writing the wrong name on somebody’s coffee cup simply because the Duggars have vigorously campaigned for him, it turns out that Huckabee has a history of leniency with famous “mistake makers”:

HUCKABEE-DAHMER

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8 Rejected First Tweets from President Obama

Well, well, well. Look who joined the 21st century today!

POTUS First Tweet

Yes, President Barack Obama is finally stepping foot into where it all happens: Twitter, the Land of Hashtags, Emojis and 30something Men Who Enjoy Declaring Us “FAT LOOSERS!” from the Comfort of Their Parents’ Basements. And although the president’s premier Tweet was kinda cute and tinged with his signature humor, it turns out it wasn’t his first attempt. Here are eight Tweets that the president was bummed didn’t make it onto the official account:

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Entertainment Weekly Names “Most Powerful Babies” — And Your Baby Sucks for Not Being One

Thursday, May 7, 2015 0 No tags 2
Knowing his mother's strength lies in her shiny mane, Prince George chews on it to usurp her power -- AND IT WORKS

Is your baby so powerful that he can chew on the Duchess of Cambridge’s hair? I. DON’T. THINK. SO.

In a world where Boko Haram is kidnapping thousands of women and children and forcing them into sexual slavery and ISIS is recruiting thousands of Americans on social media (job benefits include “office-supplied suicide bombs, eternal martyrdom and 72 virgins, plus a flexible work schedule!”), it is crucial to turn a keen eye to what REALLY matters and ask ourselves:

Who are the most powerful babies in the world?

That’s right — Entertainment Weekly was obviously envious of their sister publication, People, and their investigative pieces digging deep into national matters such as “Who Is the Sexiest Man Alive?” and “Who Are the World’s Most Beautiful People?” and have now thrown their hat into the Pulitzer Prize ring with a list of THE WORLD’S MOST POWERFUL BABIES.

I don’t think I can put it any better than Entertainment Weekly, which eloquently introduces the list by noting:

If the children are our future, these babies will ensure that star power rules long afterthis [SIC] generation literally can’t even anymore.

Like, literally.

Without further ado, here are the power babies, along with how they got on the esteemed list, according to inside sources I will protect to my death (don’t even try bribing me, I cannot reveal my — Oh!  A fun-sized Twix Bar?  Yeah, okay, my cats told me.  NOW HAND OVER THE TWIX!).

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