“We shall OVERCOMB!”
A fat-shaming shrine appeared in New York Magazine’s slideshow featuring pictures of Lilly Pulitzer’s headquarters and, well, people aren’t thrilled about it:
Huh. Prominently displayed in an employee’s cubicle, the cartoons show overweight women with the captions, “Just another day of fat, white and hideous… you should probably just kill yourself” and the equally inspiring “Put it down, carb-face!” A Lilly Pulitzer spokeswoman defended the company by pointing out the drawings belonged to a lone employee. Oh, phew! That’s cool. Carry on, lone employee — feel free to keep sticking those pins in your Melissa McCarthy voodoo doll at the next office Happy Hour! And in further defense of the company — which, on a COMPLETELY unrelated note, doesn’t carry any sizes bigger than 14 in stores — I have hunted down the standard Lilly Pulitzer job application and can confirm their workplace is, indeed, completely void of weight-based bias:
Okay, sure, Josh Duggar admitted that he molested multiple underage girls — including his own sisters — and his parents didn’t go to the authorities until the statute of limitations had out, but presidential hopeful and apparent pedophile advocate Mike Huckabee wants us to leave the poor guy alone! I mean, gosh, as Huckabee said on Facebook:
“Good people make mistakes.”
Killing five people makes you a serial killer, but molesting five girls? A “mistake.”
Lest you think Huckabeee is dismissing CHILD MOLESTATION as being on the same level as writing the wrong name on somebody’s coffee cup simply because the Duggars have vigorously campaigned for him, it turns out that Huckabee has a history of leniency with famous “mistake makers”:
Some people may be wondering where Hillary Clinton stands on the Trans-Pacific Partnership, but the question on EVERYBODY’S minds is…
WHAT IS THE STATE OF HILLARY’S HAIR TODAY?
ANALYSIS: Clean. Highlighted. Brushed back.
THREAT OF HAIRBAND APPEARANCE: Guarded
Well, well, well. Look who joined the 21st century today!
Yes, President Barack Obama is finally stepping foot into where it all happens: Twitter, the Land of Hashtags, Emojis and 30something Men Who Enjoy Declaring Us “FAT LOOSERS!” from the Comfort of Their Parents’ Basements. And although the president’s premier Tweet was kinda cute and tinged with his signature humor, it turns out it wasn’t his first attempt. Here are eight Tweets that the president was bummed didn’t make it onto the official account:
In a world where Boko Haram is kidnapping thousands of women and children and forcing them into sexual slavery and ISIS is recruiting thousands of Americans on social media (job benefits include “office-supplied suicide bombs, eternal martyrdom and 72 virgins, plus a flexible work schedule!”), it is crucial to turn a keen eye to what REALLY matters and ask ourselves:
Who are the most powerful babies in the world?
That’s right — Entertainment Weekly was obviously envious of their sister publication, People, and their investigative pieces digging deep into national matters such as “Who Is the Sexiest Man Alive?” and “Who Are the World’s Most Beautiful People?” and have now thrown their hat into the Pulitzer Prize ring with a list of THE WORLD’S MOST POWERFUL BABIES.
I don’t think I can put it any better than Entertainment Weekly, which eloquently introduces the list by noting:
If the children are our future, these babies will ensure that star power rules long afterthis [SIC] generation literally can’t even anymore.
Without further ado, here are the power babies, along with how they got on the esteemed list, according to inside sources I will protect to my death (don’t even try bribing me, I cannot reveal my — Oh! A fun-sized Twix Bar? Yeah, okay, my cats told me. NOW HAND OVER THE TWIX!).