5 Cat Puns Your Cat Really Hates

So you are a cat lover who is a different breed all together — the kind who searches for the perfect feline-inspired pun to liven up their exchanges. But did you know your cat thinks you sound ridiculous? Read on to see how your cat is slowly dying on the inside for you.

1. Clawful 

You: “Oh, Oliver, that poop stuck on your butt looks just clawful!”

Your cat:

“No.”

2. Paw-some

You: “Trust me, Tiger, your new scratching post is just paw-some!”

Your cat:

“You’re embarrassing yourself, human.”


3. Kitten me

Meaning: “Another dead bird on our front step, Oreo? You’ve got to be kitten me!”

Your cat:

“Don’t do this.”


4. Meow

You: “Let’s go to the groomer, Bootsy — right meow!

Your cat:

“I’m so disappointed in you.”


5. Litter-ally

You: “You are litter-ally the cutest cat I’ve ever seen!”

Your cat:

“That is litter-ally the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

 

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Candy

Candy Kirby is a "smug white liberal," according to a conservative blog that gets her, and comedy writer who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. Prior to launching her own site, Candy was a humor writer for outlets such as Reductress, Redbook, HelloGiggles, Disney and Nickelodeon. She also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two munchkins and three rescue Persian cats, Lucy, Larry and Lola, who are the real brains behind this operation. (So send all complaints to them.)