Eric Trump: “Democrats Aren’t Even People”

Eric Trump, who looks like the kind of guy who’d slip a date rape drug in Kelly Taylor’s punch on 90210, today cried to FOX News that Democrats criticizing his dad are, like, “not even people,” adding that “morality is just gone.”

Because if anybody is the judge of morality, it’s the guy who kills exotic animals for sport and steals money from children with cancer.

Eric Trump: Man o’ Morals

Well, Eric Trump, we Democrats have feelings, too, you know! Feelings that are best expressed through Shakespeare’s Merchant of Trump Tower.

I am a Dem.
Hath not a Dem eyes (with which we see pictures of you killing animals)? Hath not a Dem hands (with which we Tweet about you stealing from kids with cancer), organs (that TrumpCare won’t protect), dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same food (that your dad is taking away from poor kids), hurt with the same weapons (that your dad lied about selling to the Saudis), subject to the same diseases (that TrumpCare won’t cover), heal’d by the same means (that TrumpCare won’t cover), warm’d and cool’d by the same winter and summer (that’s going to keep getting warm’r because your dad refuses to acknowledge global warming), as an alt-right is?

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Candy

Candy Kirby is a "smug white liberal," according to a conservative blog that gets her, and comedy writer who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. Prior to launching her own site, Candy was a humor writer for outlets such as Reductress, Redbook, HelloGiggles, Disney and Nickelodeon. She also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two munchkins and three rescue Persian cats, Lucy, Larry and Lola, who are the real brains behind this operation. (So send all complaints to them.)