Deep Thoughts
The Trumps Do the Vatican
May 24, 2017
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IVANKA: I consider myself the hotter Mother Teresa.

MELANIA: I’m dressed for a funeral because my husband is dead to me.

DONALD: Those wafers would taste better with ketchup.

POPE FRANCIS: There is no God.

Holy Times
Trump Visits the Western Wall — What Did His Note Say?
May 23, 2017
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President Trump visited Jerusalem’s Western Wall today, placing his hand on Judaism’s holiest prayer site and posting a note into the wall, as many worshippers do with prayers and supplications. Here’s a look at what our holy, oh-so-religious president wrote:

Ivanka and Melania Trump were relegated to visiting the smaller “women’s section” of the wall, which onlookers noted was more size-appropriate for Donald’s hands. As it just so happens, we saw what Melania and Ivanka wrote in their notes, too.

KEEP READING

Actual Live Feed
LIVE FEED OF WHITE HOUSE LAWN
May 15, 2017
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News
Judge to Trump: Share the Travel Ban Memo Giuliani Gave to You
May 11, 2017
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When Trump isn’t calling on Rudy Giuliani to do his best Pokémon Golbat impression for his grandchildren and weekend Mar-a-Lago events…

… he has him doing his other dirty work, such as drafting memos to make his Muslim ban appear legal and spewing hateful nonsense on news shows to make Trump look like slightly less of a wackadoodle in comparison. Giuls told Fox News in January:

“So when [Trump] first announced it, he said, ‘Muslim ban.’ He called me up. He said, ‘Put a commission together. Show me the right way to do it legally.’ “

Well, this caught the attention of a federal judge in Michigan, who this week ordered the Trump administration to turn over communications from Giuls and other advisers on Trump’s not-a-Muslim-ban-Muslim-ban. Those suing over the matter hope the documents will bolster their bid to prove the ban was motivated by animus toward Muslims.

As it just so happens, I have a peek at the memo advising Trump on how to draft the executive order:

Pages: 1 2

Political Poetry
He Scoots in Shame
May 4, 2017
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A poem dedicated to Congressman Jason Chaffetz

Foot is fixed! My preexisting condition, they did repair

Now I gotta scoot to push Trumpcare.

Disabled kids? Screwed. Raped? Too bad.

I’d rather help the prez elected by Vlad.

Deep Thoughts
How I Imagine Trump in All of His Meetings
Apr 27, 2017
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Politics
19 Disney Photos That Totally Capture the First 100 Days of Trump’s Presidency
Apr 27, 2017
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#1 — When Trump was sworn in as our 45th president:

#2 – When women marched in solidarity around the globe the next day:

Keep reading this post…

News
Diet Sodas May Be Tied to Stroke, Dementia, Fright-Inducing Headlines
Apr 27, 2017
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Potentially bad news for us diet soda-holics: Gulping down an artificially sweetened beverage may not be so great for our brain, a new study suggests.


Showering in it, however, is fine

Artificially sweetened drinks, such as diet sodas, were tied to a higher risk of stroke and dementia in the study, which was published in the American Heart Association’s journal Stroke. Before you toss your Splendas to the curb, however, it’s important to note the study sheds light only on an association; the researchers were unable to determine an actual cause-and-effect relationship between sipping artificially sweetened drinks and any actual damage to the brain. So, you know, let’s not jump to any con —

 

Awwww, hell no. No more diet soda for me. CANDY OUT.