Proof that Every Day is National Pretzel Day to President Trump

Yes, folks, it’s National Pretzel Day! That special time of year when we take advantage of free pretzel offers and share uncomfortably erotic pretzel GIFs.

But did you know every day is pretzel day for Donald J. Trump? Here are five ways he emulates the popular party snack.

#5 – He’s twisted.

#4 – He’s doughy.

#3 – He’s salty.

#2 – He makes himself thirsty.

#1 – Often hard for people to choke down.


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Candy Kirby is a "smug white liberal," according to a conservative blog that gets her, and comedy writer who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. Prior to launching her own site, Candy was a humor writer for outlets such as Reductress, Redbook, HelloGiggles, Disney and Nickelodeon. She also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two munchkins and three rescue Persian cats, Lucy, Larry and Lola, who are the real brains behind this operation. (So send all complaints to them.)