Tremendous News: Betsy DeVos is One Step Closer to Protecting Our Children from Grizzly Bears!

Today’s op-ed from my guest columnist, The Patriot Lady…

Despite Secretary of Education nominee Betsy DeVos’s performance at her confirmation hearing, which was called “horribly embarrassing,” “stunningly bad” and a “TOTAL SH*T SHOW” — and those were the kinder reviews — a Senate committee today voted to advance her nomination. As you can imagine, Trump was pleased — as well he should be! It’s not every day we have the good fortune of appointing unqualified billionaires to help run the country.

Of course those liber-losers are crying about our Education Department being headed up by a woman who doesn’t know the difference between proficiency and growth, believes schools should be armed with guns in the event of a grizzly bear attack, and appeared further at sea during the whole hearing than Magellan ever was; however, if they just bothered to look at the Senate committee’s Secretary of Education criteria checklist, then they’d see DeVos checks off every box!

Once DeVos clears the next hurdle — and I don’t mean the ones Speaker Ryan ordered for the House gym to work on those glutes — on the Senate floor, we’ll finally have an answer to President Bush’s pressing question: “Is our children learning?”

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Candy

Candy Kirby is a "smug white liberal," according to a conservative blog that gets her, and comedy writer who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. Prior to launching her own site, Candy was a humor writer for outlets such as Reductress, Redbook, HelloGiggles, Disney and Nickelodeon. She also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two munchkins and three rescue Persian cats, Lucy, Larry and Lola, who are the real brains behind this operation. (So send all complaints to them.)