What I Think He Smells Like: Speaker Paul Ryan

Oh my… what a big buck you have!

  • That buck’s tears
  • The aftermath of 50 push-ups he just did on the House floor for no particular reason
  • The crow that America made him eat
  • Drakkar Noir
  • The lady parts of American women after being all up in their wombs

 

0

Related Articles

About author View all posts

Candy

Candy Kirby is a "smug white liberal," according to a conservative blog that gets her, and comedy writer who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. Prior to launching her own site, Candy was a humor writer for outlets such as Reductress, Redbook, HelloGiggles, Disney and Nickelodeon. She also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two munchkins and three rescue Persian cats, Lucy, Larry and Lola, who are the real brains behind this operation. (So send all complaints to them.)